My friend Jen once told me that friendships are there for a specific reason and during specific seasons, and that not all friendships were meant to last forever.
I never really knew what Jen meant, until I did.
Back in March I asked myself,
What is the definition of “friendship” anyways?
For 30 years, I defined friendship as:
Easy. Convenient. Familiar.
During my 31st year, I’ve come to know and understand the meaning of real friendship.
….has held my hand (via texts from across the country) on my hardest mommy days. She has filled me in on her own mommy struggles, and would hop on a plane in a heartbeat if I needed her. We both have a “Punky.”
….planned a Virtual Baby Shower for me, even though I told her I did not deserve it. She was adamant. She sent party favors to people all over the country. She sent me a text this week, “You amaze me. xoxo” It was completely out of the blue, random.
….is probably one of my biggest A Loving Spoon nut butter (business girl) fans. Yesterday, she did something so amazing for me that I may or may not have cried. When I told her I could never repay her, she responded,
You never have to repay me. That’s not what this is about. You have been a good friend to me the past few years and I am grateful to you for that. Both you and Ryan. I never had a sister. I don’t know if I ever really had close girlfriends growing up. No matter how crappy your day is, you have always made time to listen or help me. I’m very blessed to call you a friend, Sarah. I know that you have poured your blood, sweat and many, many tears into ALS. I know what it means to you. Any boost I can give you, I’m pulling all strings.
Have you done anything nice for yourself to celebrate the launch, dear? May I suggest a pedicure.
….sends me texts nearly daily just to say things like, “Just checking in on you. Let me know if I can do anything to brighten your day. I’m in a great place.” She also has an adoptive daughter.
…is actually my cousin. When I was probably 9 or 10, my mother asked, “Who would you like to invite to spend the night?” I replied, “I don’t know, a friend….a friend like XXX.” She has been the best friend in my life through all my seasons, and continues to cheer with a loud microphone and colorful pom-poms.
(This is not an exhaustive list. There are about a handful of other women – mostly right here in California, some surprises/new friendships back in the homeskillet and a couple spread out in other places of the US – that I have adored real friendships with.)
I told Ryan while we were out walking the other night that my “friendships” have all become very clear, very quickly, during this season of my life. People I’d never expect to be here, are here; people I’d always expect to be here, are not.
And this is all okay with me. Where once I might have felt a void, I now feel overjoyed and content.
Circles got smaller, visions became clearer.
The definition of friendship is not easy, convenient or familiar.
The definition of friendship is purpose, value, reciprocation, meaning and walking side-by-side. (Oh, and wine. Yes, there is wine, too:) )
During this season of my life, I feel grateful daily for the friendships God has brought into my life. And if you’re reading this, you know who you are. And I love you!
Love your guts,
p.s. You might enjoy, “Friends are a Girl’s Best Friend.”