About 3 months ago I mentioned my moments of complete silence.
I embraced this again last night, and it was during these few hours when I came to my final conclusion.
Let’s back up.
I recently told you that my Perioral Dermatitis has come back with a vengeance, and during that same post I mentioned that I have a doctor’s appointment waiting for me come the beginning of September. I also made note that, “I am more confident than ever that something else is going on.”
I didn’t say what because the truth is that I don’t know for sure what, but what I am fairly certain is going on is that my gut has reverted to a Leaky state.
Prior to Samarah, I was doing so well. I was thriving like never before. And then she came, life got flipped turned upside down and everything completely changed. Instead of focusing on my gut and ensuring it would continue to stay flare free and thriving, I focused on her. I gave her everything she needed.
It completed my heart, but left me struggling to stay well.
If you know me, you know that when it comes to my family, to my friends, to my business and to most people I meet, I am fairly selfless (not always).
But last night after an amazing mommy and Samarah day, as I sat there in silence I thought….
But what about me?
I wanted it to feel selfish so that I’d have an “out” for my plans leading up to my September doctor’s appointment. I really, really did.
But my stomach felt bloated, I was tired and I felt frustrated. The combination of the three reminded me that no, what I’m about to do for myself is hardly selfish. In due time, I’m going to feel like the 100% I know I can feel. I know it because I did it before.
Colitis does not care what you have going on in your life. You manage it OR it manages you. I’ve had to learn this the hard way.
In 2009, I began healing my gut for good – for forever via the GAPS Diet.
Beginning on Tuesday, I’m doing myself a favor and returning to GAPS once again, intensely, for 30 days. At that point it will be Labor Day Weekend, and the day after Labor Day is my appointment, which will have me ready for Phase 2 based on all findings.
I want to be well and able for Samarah, our little Night Owl, forever.
These are the choices we make.
Mine has been made, and you can come back Tuesday when I’ll begin documenting the 30 days (I won’t document every single day. C’mon, I have a baby and a business to run ).
Love your guts,